For those interested in genetic genealogy, DNA genealogy, and those interested in discovering family origins resulting from adoption or unknown parentage. You can become a DNA Detective.
Three weeks ago, I received a Facebook message from a young lady asking if I managed a kit for someone on My Heritage. The person she was looking for shared my name, but It was not me. As we discussed her situation, I learned she had been adopted and was searching for her biological family. Was it a coincidence that she stumbled upon a woman who shared my name and unknowingly emailed me, a DNA enthusiast? Little did she know, her luck would soon pay off.
It took me about a week to research her DNA. She had made many contacts and had communicated with her DNA matches. She had some ideas about how she was related to the people on her list, but I was not familiar enough with her DNA to give an informed opinion.
When I help adoptees, it is more difficult because we don’t have any information about the maternal side or paternal side. When a familial connection is discovered, I am never sure which side of the tree it belongs. The challenge is to figure out how eight people divide into pairs. The next complication becomes figuring out which pair relates to the paternal side and which pair belongs on the maternal side.
I began my research by using the LEEDS method. This method helps to identify the great-grandparents (eight people at the top of the diagram.) Unfortunately, I was only able to identify six of the eight great-grandparents. With this information, I was able to determine one set of grandparents and one more undetermined branch. I narrowed my focus and looked closely at the grandparents. I found they had a daughter but was not sure she was an only child. I began with this woman. She (or a sister or a brother) were likely the parent of the woman I was helping. The woman I was helping took this information and began corresponding with people in search of her biological family.
It has been about a week since we narrowed the possibilities down. My client has been very busy contacting people and asking questions. Tonight we spoke briefly, and she made contact with the daughter of the woman whom I had identified. They corresponded over some time and eventually, she explained that she thought they could be half-sisters or cousins. The woman with whom she was communicating told my client that her mother had placed a child up for adoption when she was young. At last, sisters communicating and my client will soon get to know her mother.
Now that we have identified the maternal line, I know the remainder belongs on her paternal side. Now we must wait for more people to test so we can locate her father. 3/1/19 Update (Her mother told her who her father was.) I was so close, I was looking at his brother. #nailed it
How many times have you felt incredibly frustrated because you have a very close DNA match and when you message them, they ignore you? Unfortunately, this happens a lot.
Please Don’t Ignore Me!
All The Hype About Ethnicity Estimates
Unfortunately, we need to understand that most people order a DNA test to learn about their ethnicity. Most of your matches who are uninterested received a test kit for Christmas to see if they are “Irish” or “German,” etc. Most are uneducated and don’t understand that the DNA companies created these “best guesses” to market a product. These unsuspecting people don’t realize that Ethnicity Estimates are guesses based on algorithms. Perhaps this scheme will transcend an otherwise narrow-minded individual into a DNA enthusiast eventually, but time is of the essence. Avid genealogy research involves building a family tree and pairing it with DNA results. If your matches are ignoring you, don’t take it personally and know there are things you can do.
DNA Matches Without a Tree
Look at the user name for clues. They may have used their first initial and last name for their “user name.”
Go to their profile page and see if they have information there. The profile page may also have some trees which do not show up on the DNA panel.
Look at their shared matches and see if you can ascertain their relationship to others.
Use Social Media and research them. Google, Twitter, Facebook, and Snap Chat are conventional mediums.
Google their name and the word “obituary.” You will be surprised how many people are listed online relating to an obituary of a loved one. Obituaries provide a wealth of information.
If you get “lucky” and figure out who they are and who their parents are, build their tree as a research tree. I have more research trees than actual trees.
If they have a tree with only a few people in it, look at their tree and select someone deceased and click the search bar. You will find more trees and additional information about that person.
DNA Matches with a Locked Tree
Narrow down their relationship to you by analyzing the shared matches
Use the search feature on the DNA matches page to type in a surname you are researching. If their tree has this surname, they will appear on the list of people with that particular surname in their tree. You will not be able to view their tree, but you will know they have this surname.
Message them with information or a question showing you have an idea of how you are connected. “I think we may both have Rathburn’s in our trees. Do you have any Rathburn’s in your tree?”
As you build your tree, if you share a common ancestor with them, Ancestry will tell you who the common ancestor is, even if their tree is locked.
Never Give Up!
Depending on the “life stage,” a tester is in, he/she may have more/less time to think about their family history. Most of us become interested after we have children, but we are much too busy to do research. As our children grow and we have more time, and we may have more time to dedicate toward genealogy research. Some times I am busier in my life than other times. I have missed an email or forgot to respond, and when they reach out again, I appreciate it. Don’t forget to add notes so you can track who you have already emailed.
Build email folders in Ancestry. It helps to track and save email messages for future reference.
Some People Simply Don’t Know
Some of the people you match may be adopted. They may not be able to build a tree, and when they have mentioned adoption to others, communication abruptly ends. Never take it personally, get creative, and move on.
Delving into the records and researching the documents, can be a timeless task. Timeless because one loses track of time. It is important to take a break from researching a person, document or chasing leads. These are the reasons why I take a break.
Your cache in your browser fills up and sometimes you just see the same stuff you have already seen – clear cache and clean up cookies too!
Some websites refresh quite regularly; usually every 24 hours. There are websites which will suddenly upload a bunch of new data, making searches more productive
Much of my work has been with adoptees in search of their biological parents. Everyone has an opinion about whether or not an adoptee should search for their biological family. My opinion does not matter. If someone asks for my help, I will help them.
The best word to describe my philosophy on this subject is empathy. In no way could I ever imagine how it feels to be adopted. My work has helped me understand that adoptees gain a sense of connectedness once they learn who their biological parents were.
If we reach out and the biological family is disinterested, our efforts were not in vain. The larger story involving many generations is significant. Were their ancestors in the Civil War? Did they escape the Holocaust? Did they come to the United States after the Potato Famine? There are rich and compelling stories to be discovered that happened before conception. These stories are empowering and priceless.
The tip of our tree involves our parents. Our story grows as we research our generational past. With each generation, there is a story to learn. History comes alive and we learn how our ancestors shaped history. The lessons we learned in school become real and applicable to us.
Recently, Laura Hill, a fellow researcher and newly discovered relative (via DNA) of my husband, reached out to me with these questions. She connects to my husband on his Curtis line, and the surname Hill is a coincidence.
Last night I listened to a webinar on the basics of DNA. There were some questions from the listeners, but then the moderator and the presenter started talking about the ethics of DNA. They said one should not be asking how a match is related lest there be a non-parental event in which the other person was not aware.
The moderator went on to say that her best friend has been traumatized and going to receive counseling after learning some family secret via a DNA test.
Would you characterize your husband and you to have been traumatized to learn that he did not descend from a Hill ancestor? Does it make you/him wish you had never taken the test? Do you think it wrong to ask about how they are related to oneself?
The moderator was also saying that one shouldn’t contact people to inform them of the new-found relationship: in your case, that you shouldn’t contact Curtis descendants of your husband’s ancestor.
I feel that it is good to make connections. I used to have an idealized view of my ancestors, but through DNA and genealogy I realize what goes on now also went on then; there are no perfect people.
If I learned my father had created a child outside of marriage, I might feel differently, but suspect after the initial shock I would want to welcome a newly found relative.
What’s your opinion? Laura Hill
I appreciate these questions because DNA surprises will have an impact on others. Before I submitted my own DNA, I thought about the privacy implications and weighed the pros and cons.
There is a possibility you will learn something you did not know about your family. Take a moment to consider the chance that you might learn something unexpected. Are you prepared to deal with what you might learn?
DNA is a tool used by law enforcement to solve crimes. If you or someone who shares your DNA has committed a crime, your DNA could be helpful in an unsolved case. Although, not having your DNA will probably not prevent the case from being solved because thousands of others have shared their DNA results.
People take DNA tests for many reasons. Some are only interested in their ethnic make-up. If you are not interested in the other uses of DNA results, you can keep your results private by not sharing them or deleting them once you learn yourr ethnicity.
The moderator of the Webinar you attended would be very unhappy with me. Not only do I reach out to others who have tested, but I also contact people who have not tested. I send letters to people who I believe are close relatives of the adoptees I am helping. I am gentle but factual with the information I give. If I send a letter to a gentleman who I believe is the father of an adoptee, I share the information I have. It is not uncommon for a man to have unknowingly fathered a child. If he wishes to make a connection or research this further, I will help. If the possible father does not respond, the adoptee has gained powerful and validating information.
The Curtis Research
The DNA Curtis Puzzle
Although I have not finished writing about my research experience about husband’s DNA, suffice it to say, he should carry the surname Curtis. After years of research and collaboration with other DNA testers, we have discovered a non-paternal event in his line. My husband’s grandfather on his paternal line was not his biological grandfather. We are not damaged or traumatized. Our discovery happened over some time and we, believe his grandfather knew that he was not the father. He was an incredible man. Not only did he raise a child who was not his, but he also embraced the child and gave him his name. The fact is, if it were not for the non-paternal event, my husband would not be here today! Damaged, no. Grateful and proud, yes.
In the coming months, this entire research project will be posted on my website. I have stared with sharing information about Susan Lloyd and James Patterson Hill, Sr. and there will be more to come. I hope you enjoy reading it.
