How many times have you felt incredibly frustrated because you have a very close DNA match and when you message them, they ignore you? Unfortunately, this happens a lot.
Please Don’t Ignore Me!
All The Hype About Ethnicity Estimates
Unfortunately, we need to understand that most people order a DNA test to learn about their ethnicity. Most of your matches who are uninterested received a test kit for Christmas to see if they are “Irish” or “German,” etc. Most are uneducated and don’t understand that the DNA companies created these “best guesses” to market a product. These unsuspecting people don’t realize that Ethnicity Estimates are guesses based on algorithms. Perhaps this scheme will transcend an otherwise narrow-minded individual into a DNA enthusiast eventually, but time is of the essence. Avid genealogy research involves building a family tree and pairing it with DNA results. If your matches are ignoring you, don’t take it personally and know there are things you can do.
DNA Matches Without a Tree
- Look at the user name for clues. They may have used their first initial and last name for their “user name.”
- Go to their profile page and see if they have information there. The profile page may also have some trees which do not show up on the DNA panel.
- Look at their shared matches and see if you can ascertain their relationship to others.
- Use Social Media and research them. Google, Twitter, Facebook, and Snap Chat are conventional mediums.
- Google their name and the word “obituary.” You will be surprised how many people are listed online relating to an obituary of a loved one. Obituaries provide a wealth of information.
- If you get “lucky” and figure out who they are and who their parents are, build their tree as a research tree. I have more research trees than actual trees.
- If they have a tree with only a few people in it, look at their tree and select someone deceased and click the search bar. You will find more trees and additional information about that person.
DNA Matches with a Locked Tree
- Narrow down their relationship to you by analyzing the shared matches
- Use the search feature on the DNA matches page to type in a surname you are researching. If their tree has this surname, they will appear on the list of people with that particular surname in their tree. You will not be able to view their tree, but you will know they have this surname.
- Message them with information or a question showing you have an idea of how you are connected. “I think we may both have Rathburn’s in our trees. Do you have any Rathburn’s in your tree?”
- As you build your tree, if you share a common ancestor with them, Ancestry will tell you who the common ancestor is, even if their tree is locked.
Never Give Up!
Depending on the “life stage,” a tester is in, he/she may have more/less time to think about their family history. Most of us become interested after we have children, but we are much too busy to do research. As our children grow and we have more time, and we may have more time to dedicate toward genealogy research. Some times I am busier in my life than other times. I have missed an email or forgot to respond, and when they reach out again, I appreciate it. Don’t forget to add notes so you can track who you have already emailed.
Build email folders in Ancestry. It helps to track and save email messages for future reference.
Some People Simply Don’t Know
Some of the people you match may be adopted. They may not be able to build a tree, and when they have mentioned adoption to others, communication abruptly ends. Never take it personally, get creative, and move on.